I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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