nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
