whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
