I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
