Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
