Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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