Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
