omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize