Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
