your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
