wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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