I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Couch. On fire.
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