bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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