Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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