it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
