Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
