Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Of course I have a pirate flag
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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