He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
