We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
