You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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