I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
