you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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