Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize