so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
