Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Drunk is not a location!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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