I smell stomach acid.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
