I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
