Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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