i barfeds in our rink
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize