She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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