i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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