As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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