I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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