and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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