just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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