Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
