I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
