Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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