You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
