but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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