People with herpes should wear stickers.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
