I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
