So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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