never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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