Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize