there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize