Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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