We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The air was thick with penises
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
