I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
