either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
