hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize