new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
