As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize