guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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