I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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