You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
