I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Boobs speak an international language.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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