i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
