i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
