She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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