All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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