Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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